Schwippy

My date with a concrete pipe

The year was 1989. I was only 5.

Me and my step brothers, David and James, were all at a public park for the day. While the adults were playing some basketball, we ventured around and whatnot, and eventually found a construction site where they were laying in new underground plumbing and drainage.

Us, being boys, decided it would be a good idea to investigate it. Eventually, we found a part where the fence didn’t connect, which let us into the site. Man, there was some awesome stuff in there too, haha.

What was probably the coolest thing was the 6-foot diameter concrete pipe laying on the asphalt. It was about 15 feet long, so sure, we would walk through it and stuff… but that’s not what interested us. What was fun was the fact that we could roll it

All three of us were on top ‘walking’ it across the pavement. Quite entertaining to kids… but not even this can stop an ADHD kid from losing interest after 45 seconds. So I quickly come up with another idea. I told David to stay on top of the pipe, while me and James both got off and got IN the pipe.

After a second or two of David getting his bearings, he finally gets the hang of walking it again with us both in the pipe on our backs hanging on for dear life.

Me, being the genius that I am, I was on the side closest to the edge of the pipe (James was more near the inside). Well, when the pip eventually rolls around, I start to lose my stance in the pipe and decide it would be a good idea to grab the edge of it to keep from getting hurt.

Not a second later, I feel a quick motion that didn’t feel unlike somebody slapping my hand. I didn’t know what it was, but it didn’t hurt. I also heard it. It didn’t sound like a slap, but more like the sound it would make if you took 3 celery stalks and snapped them in half at the same time.

While I was wondering what the heck just happened, I tried to pull my hand back so I could get out of the pipe to figure it out. And that’s when I noticed that it didn’t work. I was stuck. That’s when it hit me. The pip had rolled over my fingers. It had rolled almost all the way over, but for the next few seconds it stopped, right before going backwards and off of my hand. Those couple seconds felt like ages.

By this point, I didn’t think anything bad had happened, since it wasn’t hurting all that bad… but I was rather freaked out that my hand was stuck and I didn’t know what was going on.

When the pipe finally rolled off, I saw the pavement first. It could only be described as the same stain you would get if you took a cherry, laid it on the sidewalk, then hit it with a hammer.

That’s when I started to get scared.

Then I decided that it would be a great idea to look at my hand, so I tried to pull it back again. Yet I was still finding resistance. Upon further movements, I found out that my fingers were… well… lets put it this way. Take some Playdough, put it between 2 books, and press them together. That Playdough is gonna be stuck to at least one.

After I lifted my hand from an angle that allowed my fingers to basically ‘peel’ off of the pipe, I brought back my hand with horror in my face.

That’s when the pain started at a hot sensation.

Its safe to say at this point, I was screaming. Screaming like hell.

My two step-brothers had no idea that this had happened, but when they saw the blood, they ran and got some help. I was too busy trying to think of what to do to actually do anything useful. After a few seconds, I’m being picked up, thrown over a shoulder, and put in the back seat of a car and on the way to the hospital.

Still screaming.

…I’ll spare the boring details of the hospital, the stitches, and the cast, but I do think it important to mention that while it didn’t do much damage to the entire finger, the pipe had actually splintered and shattered the tips of the bone in my pinky and ring finger. Literally… shattered. I really wish I still had the X-rays. It looked like a very tiny bomb was put in the middle of the bone in my fingers. Pieces of bone were ‘thrown’ outward from the center of my fingers.

Long story short, I still have the scars on 3 fingers, though you would never notice them unless they were pointed out, and I have ultra sensitive finger tips. And no, its not like a superpower… more like super painful if touched the wrong way.

Emergency Party Button

I finally did the write-up on the Emergency Party Button that I made a few months ago. I took a short video as well.

The video does it no justice… you totally need to be there to experience the awesomeness.

If you want to see how it was done and what all it consists of, go to the Emergency Party Button page at www.plasma2002.com/epb

Control The Official Schwippy Christmas Tree

This year, we have set up a Christmas Tree with lights that can be controlled via a web interface for all to enjoy! On the Schwippy Christmas Tree page, you can choose to control our christmas lights and view a webcam image of the tree and anybody (or any thing, for that matter) that decides to run across it

If you are bored and feel like playing with our lights, go to the following website.

http://tree.schwippy.com

Kangaroos are idiots

’nuff said.

Rock Paper Scissors 25

Who knew that one of the best games ever invented could get even better?

Along with the three common hand signs that can be thrown, 22 more signs have been added, each with their own set of rules on what beats what.

Click the image for a full size view

Check out the main site for a different chart that you can buy a large print of and put on your wall for reference.
Rock Paper Scissors 25 @ UMOP

Top 10 reasons why I’m lazy

1) For one thing, I never get around to finishing things I started.

Sperman was a Jerk

Is it just me, or was Superman a total jerk back in the old days? Haha, check out these funny comic book covers and image scans from real comic books from way back when. Linky linky below!

Funny Superhero Book Covers @ Fresh99

2-Story Target and their Cartalator

So while in San Diego for the weekend, we decided to go to the mall do a little time-killing before we headed back to our simple lives in the good ol’ IE. Well, we found a Bed Bath and Beyond, and seeing as how me and Sarah are going to be getting an apartment soon, we decided to go in and get some decorating ideas and whatnot. Well, we were both surprised when it turned out to be a 2-story building. When we decided to go up to the second floor, we were both joking about how we should try to get the shopping cart on the escalator with us. But instead we just did it the boring old fashioned way and took it up with us on the elevator. I know, I know… so cliche.

Anyways, while we were riding up, I was thinking to myself of ideas on how a system could be made to accommodate shopping carts going up or down a story. Somewhat along the lines of an escalator system. Well, I left it at that and didn’t think about it much more afterwards.

After we left Bed Bath and Beyond, we went to the other side of the mall and found Target, my girlfriend’s OCD-friendly fantasy store. As much as she loves Target, I wasn’t surprised at how thrilled she was to learn that just like Bed Bath and Beyond, this store too was two stories. Up where we live, we have ever yet to see a 2 store Target. I honestly didn’t think they could have that much crap to sell.

What’s great about this Target is the fact that they had solved the shopping cart escalator problem! We were both as mesmerized with this thing much in the same way that Asian tourists are with a pretty blonde girl in Las Vegas. I felt like an idiot taking the footage of this thing in action, but I knew what I had to do. I was on a mission to bring back a sight of the new world to the people of the IE! So behold: the Target Cartalator! (Well, if I got to name it anyway…)

Hampster Prance

Finally! Put your hamster to some REAL use! Make him work for his own well being. Load a sheet of paper into the shredder, and your little buddy just does his thing, running his little butt off, and presto; a few gear reductions later, an instant hamster bed made from purely recycled credit card applications and unfiled TPS reports.

This is artist Tom Ballhatchet’s design, which he plans to put on display in Milan, Italy.

Check out his hanster shredder and his site below.

Tom Ballhatchet [Via Gizmodo]

DIY Peeps

We all love peeps, Right?

Well, ok…. maybe we all just like sticking them in the microwave. But that aside, heres an awesome little tutorial on making your own peeps, done by the minds over at Evil Mad Scientist. Clicky clicky on the linky linky.

Make Your Own Peeps @ EvilMadScientist